Let’s be honest—when someone says “networking,” you probably picture awkward handshakes, fake smiles, and trying to remember someone’s name while your brain screams “what do I say now?!”
If you’d rather do literally anything else than attend another networking event where everyone’s just vibing with the free wine and talking about themselves… I get it.
But here’s the thing: networking doesn’t have to feel stiff or strategic. It’s not about collecting business cards or being “on” all the time. It’s about building real, helpful connections in a way that feels good to you.
Whether you’re job searching, starting a new chapter, or just trying to put yourself out there a bit more—here’s how to network when you hate small talk and still want to make it work.
💬 1. Redefine What Networking Actually Means
Forget the formal suits and elevator pitches. Networking = building relationships. That’s it.
It can look like:
- DMing someone on LinkedIn to say you loved their post
- Grabbing coffee with someone in your dream role
- Texting a former classmate to ask how they landed their internship
It doesn’t have to be polished—it just has to be genuine.
👯 2. Start with People You Already Know (or Sorta Know)
You don’t need to cold-email CEOs. Start with your circle:
- Past professors
- Classmates from group projects
- Someone you worked with at your part-time job
- That girl in your sorority who works in marketing now
Slide into their inbox and say:
“Hey! I’ve been thinking about getting into [industry] and saw you’ve done some awesome things in that space—mind if I ask you a couple quick questions?”
Boom. No awkward coffee date invite required (unless you want to!).
📱 3. Make the First Move—But Keep It Chill
A message doesn’t have to be long to be impactful. Here’s a quick DM/LinkedIn message template:
Hi [Name],
I came across your profile and loved seeing your path from [school/role] to [current job]. I’m starting to explore [industry/role] and would love to hear how you got started—would you be open to a quick chat sometime?
Thanks so much!
[Your Name]
You’re not asking for a job—you’re asking for their story. People love to talk about themselves (even if you don’t love small talk).
🧠 4. Prep a Few Go-To Questions
If your brain short-circuits mid-convo (same), keep a few solid questions in your back pocket. You’ll look prepared and avoid the dreaded “So... what do you do?” moment.
Try:
- What’s one thing you wish you knew before starting your job?
- What does a typical day look like for you?
- How did you land your first role in this field?
- What advice would you give someone starting out?
You’re guiding the conversation in a way that’s real and curious—not salesy.
✍️ 5. Follow Up Without Being Weird
They respond. You chat. It goes great! Don’t ghost them after.
Send a quick follow-up:
“Thank you again for taking the time to chat—I really appreciated your insight on [specific thing]. I’ll definitely keep you posted as I explore more opportunities!”
Then… keep them in the loop! Even just reacting to their LinkedIn post keeps you on their radar in a natural way.
🙅♀️ 6. Skip the Events That Drain You
Newsflash: you don’t have to go to every mixer, panel, or “young professionals” happy hour. If events exhaust you, give yourself permission to skip them—and focus on 1:1 connections instead.
OR, go with a plan:
- Bring a friend
- Set a time limit (stay for 30 minutes)
- Make it a goal to meet just one new person
Then reward yourself with a solo sushi dinner or nap after. #Balance.
💌 7. Don’t Wait Until You “Need” Something
Networking feels way less weird when you’re not panicking about a job. Build your network while you’re chill, employed, or just casually curious. That way, when you do need help, it’s not out of the blue.
Check in, share things you’re learning, and support others when you can. Networking is a two-way street.
💛 8. Lead with Curiosity, Not Self-Promotion
You don’t need a “personal brand.” You need genuine curiosity.
When you approach people like a real human—not someone pitching themselves for a job—you’ll build way more authentic connections. And honestly? That’s what gets you referrals and opportunities later on.
✨ Wanna Feel Way Less Overwhelmed About the Job Hunt?
If you’re job searching, building your network, and still figuring it all out (hi, welcome to post-grad life!), I’ve got something just for you:
🎁 Grab the Job Search Starter Kit
It’s your no-fluff guide to:
- Resumes that don’t sound boring
- LinkedIn profiles that get noticed
- Interview prep without the panic
- Actual email scripts for reaching out to people
🫶 Real Talk Before You Log Off
You don’t have to be the loudest voice in the room to build a meaningful network. You just have to show up, be kind, and start small. Every conversation is a chance to learn something—and every connection is a step forward, even if it doesn’t lead to a job right away.
You don’t need to love small talk. You just need to be real.
And that? You’ve already got in the bag. 🤍
